Thoughts
by cherrys-and-chocolate
Summary: it's all about the little insights
1. 06x12 A Spontaneous Decision

She still couldn't believe that he had asked her to marry him. On the dancefloor. At their friend's wedding. In spite of that, it had felt so romantic, so intimate. A moment just between them in the midst of a crowd. The way they slowly moved to the song he had chosen for the two of them, although he tried to convince her otherwise in his own cheeky, charming way. For the rest of the evening her thoughts were consumed with his proposal and what she could've said to him, if not the mass had whisked her away. She loved him dearly and was happy with him, so happy with him, but getting married that soon again? She didn't know if that's what she wanted in her current stage of life. What was the perfect answer for that kind of question? One that wasn't a overwhelming yes and didn't automatically mean the end of their relationship? Probably her answer would've been more like a not yet. She loved their relationship the way it was right now and she was scared that if she married him, then her old New Jersey life would repeat itself. Then, in her own typical fashion, her mind began to race through all of the possibilities that would result from taking such a big step. What something like that could mean to his custody agreement and she couldn't even bear the thought of him not having his daughters around every day. His two little adorable daughters, just thinking of them brought a smile to her face.

He still couldn't believe he asked her to marry him. But like he had assured her more than once, he could be spontaneous when he followed his heart. In that moment, it had seemed like the perfect time to ask her a question he had been dying to ask her for a long time. Her in his arms, slowly dancing to their song. He loved to see that recognizable spark in her beautiful brown eyes when she heard the first notes and how her face lit up. For the rest of the evening he didn't even have a chance to get her alone and just talk to her. She was always surrounded by at least one of her friends and he knew for sure, if he let her too much time, she would overthink everything. He could almost see all the small little wheels turning in her head in full speed. On the other side he would let her have all the time in the world, if her answer wasn't grounded on all the bad ifs and could be's in both of their lives. This was just for them and no one should have had a right to say anything about it. 


	2. 03x08 A Revealing Accident

The first thing he felt after hanging up his mobile phone was panic. Pure undeniable panic. And then he heard the voice of his current date slowly through the fog in his mind with her ultimatum, that if he went to see that other girl, they would be over. But he had to go, this was an urgent he felt, he couldn't even explain it to himself. So he turned around without another word and made it as fast as he could to the hospital.

All kind of thoughts were swirling around in his head, what could've happen if the worst possible situation eventuated and what that could mean for him and his feelings for her. Feelings he tried to forget, feelings he tried to bury as deep as he could. But everytime he was around her, he felt lighter, like a dark stormy cloud had lifted and he could see the sun again. That was, what she was for him: the sun. Glowing in her positiveness, warming in her always present smile and if he doesn't look out for himself she could burn him completely. But he didn't know if that would be such a bad thing.

Arriving at the hospital he had to lie to the nurse, otherwise he wouldn't get her room number. He sprinted the stairs up, the elevator would've taken too long. At her door he took a deep breath to calm his nerves. Knocking slightly at the doorframe he pushed the door further open and stepped in.

Except for the black arm sling to immobilize her right shoulder she looked good, maybe slightly drugged but good. He would swear she could hear the big rock that fell from his heart. Later he would fill out the papers to pay for her stay here.

With one large step he was almost at her bed and there was it again, her bright smile and although the worries about her still nagged at him, he could already feel the warmth creeping into his heart. Seating himself at her bedside he leaned forward with his elbows on the bedsheet to see up close if she really was okay or if it was another of her polite answers. The way she automatically touched his hand, almost interlaced her fingers with his, sent all kinds of electricity through his body. He looked at her in question, if it was on purpose or just an accident. He could see the painkillers letting her get tired, so he asked her if there was anything he could do for her and her honest answer suprised him to no ends.

Her piggies were out, he didn't know if he should laugh or showing any other more appropriate emotion for the weirdness of this whole situation. He decided for laugh, she was the only person who made him laugh these days. She brought his laugh back and he would be forever grateful for that. He stood up, bent down to her really beautiful feet, took the blanket and wrapped it tenderly around them, now they had it all warm and cozy.

She thanked him in a half drugged, half sleepy voice and it seemed as if she wanted to say more, but sleep already had taken her over. He kissed her slightly on the forehead, said her piggies good night, switched the lights off and with one last long look towards her bed he left the room. 


	3. 04x07 An Unwelcome Interruption

He could still taste the softness of her skin and how she reacted as he kissed that sensitive spot where her shoulder met her neck, how she grabbed into his hair. He had to focus his eyes on George the janitor, he didn't dare to look at her, all those long locks where he wanted to bury his hands in again to savour all of her. They were so close to give it in, in his office, on his desk. He never lost that much control over himself, except with her. With her he just lost it all. Finally he turned his eyes towards her and saw how she stared nervously at George and it was as if she knew he was looking at her, she turned her head and gave him a small embarrassed smile. He moistened his lips and her smile turned more into a seductive one.

And then George the janitor was gone and she told him about this new book she got pitched to and all went straight to hell. Again he had to deal with his ex-wife and like nothing happened she showed up from a year-long disappearance and everything got complicated again. But not this time. This time he was gonna make everything right with this new woman. This newfound love he got, who loved books almost as much as he does and who was always so kind to everyone in her life. 


End file.
